Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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