Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
