found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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