Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
