Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
