At least make sure they are 18
Why
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love you. Go after that dick
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
