It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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