Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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