i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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