Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
