I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
