Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
