So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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