I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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