i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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