They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
