He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
