Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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