How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize