I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
