Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that's an acceptable place to lick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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