It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
