if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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