I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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