So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
