she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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