I am puke
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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