Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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