Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't deserve a penis
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
