hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
