Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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