I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
