he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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