if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
