okay pat passed out under dana's car
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
