he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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