True but thats because hes a fetus.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize