Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
