pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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