question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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