he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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