You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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