At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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