I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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