oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
