weddingsv make me drug and hornr
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
