I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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