I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
