GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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