turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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