Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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