I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
