Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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