toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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