Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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