His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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