At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I died a long time ago.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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