oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize